Tag Archives: Topshop

The Oddest Store I Have Ever Been To



Let me preface this post by saying that I have nothing against NYC, SOHO, London or anything that represents what is considered “cool.”  

This weekend I took a trip to NYC and stayed the night in SOHO at a great hotel.  The area was cool and the trip was a good time.  But, at certain points I had to stop and take in my surroundings and then slap myself in the face because it seemed so fake I thought I was dreaming.

 I’m a normal random dude that wears normal everyday jeans and t-shirts.  I really don’t prescribe to any one label of fashion because in all honesty I’m not even close to fashionable.  One of the moments where I had to slap myself back into reality was my unfashionable ass strolled into Topshop on Broadway.  I have been to high end fashion places before and have seen some tight fitting not for me clothes, but Topshop blew everything I have seen in the past out of the water.


I’m pretty sure I was being Punk’d (By the way who uses this line anymore besides terrible movies…being Punk’d hasn’t been in style for like 10 years now).  First of all Topshop was gigantic.  Just 4 floors of pure in style clothing everywhere you looked.  I could not stop people watching and staring in amazement at the humans that were walking around.  The style, the people, the ensembles, the shoes, the hair, everything just seemed way too crazy to be legit.  But, there I was in the center of this Universe sitting and watching like an alien who couldn’t believe his eyes.  I’m sure everyone was looking at me in the same light because I looked like a loser with a t-shirt, jeans and sneakers on. But, this did not change the fact that what everyone was wearing was utterly outrageous.


My observations: (I wrote them down and I thought about taking pictures, but that would have been extreme)

1. Girls with short skirts love to wear Chuck Taylor’s laced all the way up.

2. Acid Washed elastic waste band jeans are back in style.

3. If a man can put on a pair of shorts and fit an iPhone into the front pocket then the shorts are way too loose on him

4. Girls must have at least some of their bra showing (however this does not equate to sexiness in any way it just has to be out somewhere like the male equivalent of hanging your pants low to show your boxers)

5. If girls wear shorts they have to be the most non- flattering shorts in existence…they must be loose, worn up to the chest, hang past the thighs and never show any curves.

6. Guys must either wear sneakers that look like moon shoes or boat shoes.

7. If anyone wears a hat it has to look like it is a set piece from Indiana Jones.

8. If a girl’s jewlery cannot impale her then she will not wear it.

9. If a man is slightly muscular he must wear a tank top and flourescent shorts.

I could keep going, but I am going to stop here to summarize my thoughts on the fashionable set that made up Topshop…

Since I have graduated college the entire world has flipped on its head.  In the last five years it is no longer in style for a woman to dress up for attention that highlights her femine figure.  The attention is now brought on for both sexes on how crazy an outfit you can wear in public.  I guess this level of thinking isn’t all that bad.  Now you HAVE to judge another person on their personality, because their seems to be no place in society for superficial judgements.  You can no longer look at girl wearing a tight pair of lowcut jeans and marvel at her butt because those tight fitting clothes no longer exist.  Like wise for guys the clothes that used to make up a man’s wardrobe are no longer functional.  Now everything just looks like the worst of every era has been combined into some type of hodgepodge to form a new anti-style that has become the norm.  It seems like kids these days are trying to relive the past in their clothing based solely on re-run episodes of 70’s, 80’s and early 90’s sitcoms.  Every girl is trying to dress like Punky Brewster, Farrah Fawcet or DJ Tanner.  Every guy is trying to dress like Mike Seaver, The Fresh Prince or DJ Tanner.  The lines in some of the clothing has been blurred and I for one cannot tell what is men’s clothing and what is women’s.  My generation has been raised by a group of parents who don’t want to guide their kids in anyway what so ever.  What you get in return are a bunch of kids so starved for attention and guidance that they start wearing the most outrageous clothes and acting in the most outrageous ways just because.  That is the idea of Topshop.  Be outrageous and get attention by dressing up like a maniac who raided their parents closet in the early 80’s.


I think this speaks to a greater point about society and the road we are heading down.  The new norm is for everyone to latch on to some kind of “counter-culture”, which once everyone latches on to it becomes the regular culture.  Hipsters are no longer weird they are now what everyone is.  There are no hipsters or skaters or punk rockers like in the past.  Each person tries to identify with each group in some sort of way and in turn it makes them followers, which is the opposite of counter culture.  Tattoos for an example are no longer considered outlandish and bad ass because every kid from 16-25 probably has a one now.  It is now more outlandish to be clean cut, straight edge and normal.  Everyone wants to belong to a group in some way and Topshop proves that these former rebel trends have now become main stream and are actually a fad for everyone to participate in.  When you have to pay $120 for acid washed elastic waste jeans from Topshop then these jeans are no longer cool.  In fact all you are doing is subscribing to a fad that some huge corporation has concocted to lure you into giving them a $115 profit on a pair of ugly jeans.  Once this trend stops everyone is going to look back on their facebook photos and realize how strange they actually looked.  Or, maybe they won’t because the next fad is right around the corner and all of the people who used to shop at Abercrombie and now are shopping at Topshop are sure to be sold on something just as crazy in the future.  That is why our economy will never cease to grow, because people are gullible as shit.

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