Larry freakin David


Job Seeker 101

Well, its time for me to find a new job and this job hunting process sucks.  Maybe its because I’m a product of the spoiled generation or maybe because I’m just not qualified to be considered for any “good” job.  Either way I never feel I am prepared or ready to find jobs, go to interviews or obtain a job.  I guess I just don’t have enough confidence in my professional skills to land anything.


This is my dilemma and probably most of the job-seekers problem.  I know when I go into an interview the desperation and the uneasiness just radiates off me like a high school kid going to Junior Prom.  The thing is outside of an interview situation I can turn on the charm.  But, I just don’t know whats proper to do and what the right answers are when I walk into a new building with people that are literally judging my every move.  

I spend too much time thinking about what other people think of me.  I believe everybody gets this basic insecure feeling especially when they are afraid and when they are unprepared for the task at hand.  Practice, knowledge and a game plan go a long way in creating confidence.  My problem is I haven’t gone the extra mile to make myself prepared enough to be confident.  If you want something bad enough you should be able to work hard enough to achieve it.

Maybe if I just find the place where I want to be then I will work my ass off to get to that position.  Or maybe I will just half ass my way through life and hope something happens.  I’m sick of the ladder to be honest and I think now is as good a day as any to start working and creating my future.  You only get one stupid life in this stupid world might as well make awesome.  You can’t be awesome waiting.  To get a job you have to work.  Just like anything else if you don’t work hard at it its not worth having.  

MWF 3 Survival Mode

Modern Warfare 3 has the best co-op mode in my humble opinion.  Survival mode is exactly how it sounds.  You fight computer bad guys( Russians) as wave after wave come an attack you.  Each wave gets progressively harder until eventually you and your partner get overtaken and are killed.  It is very similar to Zombie mode except these enemies can shoot back and evade your bullets.  I think playing this mode with a friend is the quickest way to pass time and a great bonding experience for any friends who want to kill a few hours and brain cells.  The only problem with this mode is it is only 2 players.  It would be much better if you could link two TV’s like in Zombie mode and have 4 of your friends try to Survive all together.  Speaking of 4 player games one of the best 4 player games ever created is for a system designed for 4 players.  This is obviously N64 and the game is Super Smash Brothers.  My friends and I logged a lot of hours playing SSB and I guarentee we will log a lot more.  


Basically this entry has nothing to do with anything except to give anyone out there ideas on how to waste time with their friends in multi-player games.


Here are other great multi-player games…

COD – Any Zombie mode and Survival Mode

N64 – Mario Tennis, Mario Kart, 007: Goldeneye, Perfect Dark, Super Smash Bros

PS3 – Any Singstar (YES!), Worms, Little Big Planet, Winter Olympics

XBox (Original) – Halo 1 (Hook up the TVS for 16 players), Deathrow(great unknown game)

FIFA, NHL 94, Super Bases Loaded, NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, Fight Night 3, Top Gear(SNES), Tiger Woods 2008, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Fusion Frenzy

If anybody ever reads this(which probably will never happen) feel free to add any other games. 

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Summer is not Real

Summertime is trending on WordPress today and aren’t those pictures of tanned, young, fresh looking faces just so damn cute.  Wearing white shorts sunglasses and staring into the sun just reflecting on how beautiful a summer day is.  Well I hate you.  I hate everything you are doing.  I hate that you are happy and find enjoyment in the weather.  This is mostly because I am jealous.  Not jealous because I want to be you, but jealous because I once was you.  I remember day drinking and cruising down to the beach with a group of friends just wasting a day laying in the sun.  I remember going to the ice cream shop and getting a large milk shake to enjoy in the hot sun.  I remember being a dumbshit kid staying up until 3:00 a.m. because it was nice out and tomorrow I had nothing else to do.  I enjoyed my summers and loved every second of each day.  Even when I worked my summer jobs in college I still loved each day.  

Today my life is much bleaker and yours will be too.  Unless, you are some kind of up-tempo life-loving self employed success story who can work odd hours and still get shit done, you will find yourself just like me.  Sitting in a manufactured cubicle on a beautiful sunny day, typing on a computer, stalking facebook, doing some kind of BS report for your boss and waxing poetically about summers past.  Summer isn’t real anymore.  Yea the weather is nice and after work I can go out and get some sun, but the setting sun doesn’t give you a tan like at noon on Wednesday.  Now when I try to take advantahe of the summer days I find myself burning through vacation time or trying to pack a weekend full of nostalgia from my youth.  All of this is manufactured and feels that way.  I’m trying to make fun, but in the end I have to wake up and come back to my shitty cubicle every single day.  

Summer isn’t real anymore in my world.  It is just nice weather and a few more hours of sunlight after I get out of my daily obligation of work.  Almost every single person will face the same reality as me and don’t think you are special and won’t.  If you like to have a car, house, food on the table etc. you need to work everyday.  So all of you youths out there who are having fun during these summer times know that I hate you and I am extremely jealous.  Have fun now and live it up because in a few years you too will be sitting at your office computer remembering youthful tanned days of summer where life was simple and time passed slow.  

The Oddest Store I Have Ever Been To



Let me preface this post by saying that I have nothing against NYC, SOHO, London or anything that represents what is considered “cool.”  

This weekend I took a trip to NYC and stayed the night in SOHO at a great hotel.  The area was cool and the trip was a good time.  But, at certain points I had to stop and take in my surroundings and then slap myself in the face because it seemed so fake I thought I was dreaming.

 I’m a normal random dude that wears normal everyday jeans and t-shirts.  I really don’t prescribe to any one label of fashion because in all honesty I’m not even close to fashionable.  One of the moments where I had to slap myself back into reality was my unfashionable ass strolled into Topshop on Broadway.  I have been to high end fashion places before and have seen some tight fitting not for me clothes, but Topshop blew everything I have seen in the past out of the water.


I’m pretty sure I was being Punk’d (By the way who uses this line anymore besides terrible movies…being Punk’d hasn’t been in style for like 10 years now).  First of all Topshop was gigantic.  Just 4 floors of pure in style clothing everywhere you looked.  I could not stop people watching and staring in amazement at the humans that were walking around.  The style, the people, the ensembles, the shoes, the hair, everything just seemed way too crazy to be legit.  But, there I was in the center of this Universe sitting and watching like an alien who couldn’t believe his eyes.  I’m sure everyone was looking at me in the same light because I looked like a loser with a t-shirt, jeans and sneakers on. But, this did not change the fact that what everyone was wearing was utterly outrageous.


My observations: (I wrote them down and I thought about taking pictures, but that would have been extreme)

1. Girls with short skirts love to wear Chuck Taylor’s laced all the way up.

2. Acid Washed elastic waste band jeans are back in style.

3. If a man can put on a pair of shorts and fit an iPhone into the front pocket then the shorts are way too loose on him

4. Girls must have at least some of their bra showing (however this does not equate to sexiness in any way it just has to be out somewhere like the male equivalent of hanging your pants low to show your boxers)

5. If girls wear shorts they have to be the most non- flattering shorts in existence…they must be loose, worn up to the chest, hang past the thighs and never show any curves.

6. Guys must either wear sneakers that look like moon shoes or boat shoes.

7. If anyone wears a hat it has to look like it is a set piece from Indiana Jones.

8. If a girl’s jewlery cannot impale her then she will not wear it.

9. If a man is slightly muscular he must wear a tank top and flourescent shorts.

I could keep going, but I am going to stop here to summarize my thoughts on the fashionable set that made up Topshop…

Since I have graduated college the entire world has flipped on its head.  In the last five years it is no longer in style for a woman to dress up for attention that highlights her femine figure.  The attention is now brought on for both sexes on how crazy an outfit you can wear in public.  I guess this level of thinking isn’t all that bad.  Now you HAVE to judge another person on their personality, because their seems to be no place in society for superficial judgements.  You can no longer look at girl wearing a tight pair of lowcut jeans and marvel at her butt because those tight fitting clothes no longer exist.  Like wise for guys the clothes that used to make up a man’s wardrobe are no longer functional.  Now everything just looks like the worst of every era has been combined into some type of hodgepodge to form a new anti-style that has become the norm.  It seems like kids these days are trying to relive the past in their clothing based solely on re-run episodes of 70’s, 80’s and early 90’s sitcoms.  Every girl is trying to dress like Punky Brewster, Farrah Fawcet or DJ Tanner.  Every guy is trying to dress like Mike Seaver, The Fresh Prince or DJ Tanner.  The lines in some of the clothing has been blurred and I for one cannot tell what is men’s clothing and what is women’s.  My generation has been raised by a group of parents who don’t want to guide their kids in anyway what so ever.  What you get in return are a bunch of kids so starved for attention and guidance that they start wearing the most outrageous clothes and acting in the most outrageous ways just because.  That is the idea of Topshop.  Be outrageous and get attention by dressing up like a maniac who raided their parents closet in the early 80’s.


I think this speaks to a greater point about society and the road we are heading down.  The new norm is for everyone to latch on to some kind of “counter-culture”, which once everyone latches on to it becomes the regular culture.  Hipsters are no longer weird they are now what everyone is.  There are no hipsters or skaters or punk rockers like in the past.  Each person tries to identify with each group in some sort of way and in turn it makes them followers, which is the opposite of counter culture.  Tattoos for an example are no longer considered outlandish and bad ass because every kid from 16-25 probably has a one now.  It is now more outlandish to be clean cut, straight edge and normal.  Everyone wants to belong to a group in some way and Topshop proves that these former rebel trends have now become main stream and are actually a fad for everyone to participate in.  When you have to pay $120 for acid washed elastic waste jeans from Topshop then these jeans are no longer cool.  In fact all you are doing is subscribing to a fad that some huge corporation has concocted to lure you into giving them a $115 profit on a pair of ugly jeans.  Once this trend stops everyone is going to look back on their facebook photos and realize how strange they actually looked.  Or, maybe they won’t because the next fad is right around the corner and all of the people who used to shop at Abercrombie and now are shopping at Topshop are sure to be sold on something just as crazy in the future.  That is why our economy will never cease to grow, because people are gullible as shit.

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The Most Valuable Commodity

16 Hours a Day

5 Days A week

4 Weeks a Month

52 Weeks a Year

40 Years

= 166,400 Hours from 23-63 years old.  That is the amount of hours you are going to be awake during the work week for your entire working career. 166,400 hours to master skills, hobbies, life and make enough money not to beg on the street corner for your next meal.  That is basically it.  Those hours are all that you have to live your life.  For me 4 years have ticked away and I’m sure as shit no closer to any goals I had when I was 22.  Although I have fun and try to tak advantage of everyday I’m still not where I thought I was going to be.  I may never be.  But, as time ticks I realize you are never going to be where you planned because thats no fun.  The struggle is the fun.  You have plenty of time to waste so do whatever crazy stuff you enjoy because with each passing hour you become a little closer to never waking up again.  Live it up, but don’t be an ass because I will call you out on that at some point in life. 

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Superhero movies

So Batman and Christopher Nolan revolutionized the Superhero Movie game like no other filmmaker before him.  I am a huge Batman fan and the third one Batman Rises looks phenomenal.  Now though every movie is going dark to try capture the imagination of 25-40 year old men who grew up with these characters.  I mean I get the idea, if somebody does something right and makes something great everyone will try to copy it.  But, movies like The Green Lantern, The Amazing Spiderman etc. are too silly to take the Batman road.  Batman is a whole different breed of character.  He is a real man with no superpowers.  You can make a gritty real life story about Batman because essentially he is real.  He has to play by real world physics and real world rules.  I know Batman isn’t reality and everything that happens to him is not normal, but he is a man in the end.

 Superman literally can’t lose unless someone randomly has Kryptonite which makes no damn sense.  Where are people finding so much Kryptonite.  

Spiderman is more of a man, but in the end has superpowers that make him nearly invincible.  The only thing that holds him back is he is a self conscience nerd.  But, his superpowers make up for all that.

These two are just a few examples of why these guys will never have real world problems like the threat of death.  It just isn’t believable for them to die.  But, Batman can die because he is a fragile normal human who cannot stop a bullet with his eyeball.  This is why Batman can get dark because humanity can get dark.  

The Avengers did the superhero movie right because they went over the top without basing anything in reality.  They made Super-heroes fight other supernatural creatures and everything makes sense.  If the superheroes just fought regular humans the story would end in 30 seconds like the first scene in Iron Man when he fights the terrorists.  They can’t possibly win.  Batman, however, cannot fight supernatural creatures from another dimension because thats not a real thing in the real world.  He fights psychopaths who are also essentially human.  

In the end Batman can be dark and gritty because he is realistic (to an extent).  The super-heroes have to be outrageous because they can’t have real world problems because they aren’t real.  So stop making Spiderman gritty because it doesn’t make sense.  

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Nostalgia Sunday

James Earl Jones is currently playing the greatest father figure in any movie ever.  Mufasa in the Lion King.  Mufasa is a stern loving parent who makes the ultimate sacrifice in the name of love for his son Simba.  The entire world already knows the story and has probably seen the movie numerous times, but I’m going to analyze this story anyway.

“Being brave doesn’t mean you go looking for trouble.”

Mufasa is the King and dad that everybody wants and needs in life.  He takes an interest in teaching his son all of the knowledge that he has obtained throughout his lifetime.  He is honest with son even when the topic of death comes up.  He gives up his own life to save his boy in time of need.  He fights the good fight to provide for his family and the rest of their kingdom.  Mufasa is a real “man.”  It seems these days there are a lot of real men lacking in the world.  A real stand up guy gives all he has for the betterment of society as a whole.  When you are selfish and closed off you will never flourish like the kingdom under Mufasa.  When you act like Scar, the self-absorbed power hungry ego maniac you can gain the world and still ruin everything.  Scar gets everything he wants at any cost and never sacrifices for anybody.  Because of his one-tracked mind everything else in his life is out of balance which decimates the land that he covets so much.  

In closing be a man stand, up for everyone who can’t stand up for themselves, respect others and fight the good fight.  When you do these things you will be able to provide for your family and keep your head up forever.  Be a real man like Mufasa and your life will be complete.  Stop searching for somebody else’s kingdom and take advantage of your own.  Make whatever you have the best it can possibly be and then you can look out from your own Pride Rock and know that everything the light touches is your kingdom. 


I think that last line was cheesy by the way.

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50 Shades of Garbage

I have not read 50 Shades of Grey and to be honest I probably will not.  I actually don’t have an opinion on the book as a whole. My observation is how people react to the book.  I have not seen such staunch defense of a book or utter hatred of a book in my life.  The book literally divides a room more than any political debate can.  I’ve heard fifty year old women and mid-twenty something women both talk about how “well written” the book is.  Let’s not get carried away here.  This is lady smut put out there by people who knew exactly what their audience was looking for.  The book may be “well written”, but what the hell does that mean.  The book seems like it is entertaining and it definitely gets the ladies worked into a tizzy, but that doesn’t mean its the next Great Gatsby.  

People are just strange to me.  It would be a lot less confusing if a person just would come out and say this book makes me think about sex and gets me all hot and bothered.  Don’t stand there and make excuses for why you like it.  Just tell the truth and own it.  If I here “well-written” one more time I’m, I’m, I’m probably going to do nothing, but laugh under my breath.


That is all.

NBA Finals

I’m sitting here watching the NBA Finals for no apparent reason.  I could care less about the Miami Heat or the OKC Thunder.  But, I’m bored and actually doing something productive seems too hard for me tonight.  As I sit I have noticed some random occurences during the commercials and the game.


First Chris Broussard (spelling) is an albino and he loves to scream when he talks despite the fact he is wearing a microphone.  He doesn’t breath when he talks and just shouts random basketball words.


Second the local weather man just stared in the camera and seriously said “HEAT AND THUNDER in the forecast for tomorrow/”  Either he is just messing with audience and is a comic genius and knows how corny that joke was and is making it ironically. Or he is an idiot.  Either way I laughed.


Third ABC’s new country singer show looks terrible.  It looks exactly like CMT.  A direct knockoff of successful programing ctaering to people with southern accents.  I have no idea what the show on NBC is about the singer struggling to survive is, but I think it was a hit and now ABC is directly copying it.  Which is exactly what CMT did with MTV.  MTV started with terrible music videos and turned to terrible teenage reality TV and CMT started with terrible music videos and has turned to terrible COUNTRY reality TV.

I’m almost positive nobody is actually cheering in the stands in Miami and it is just a recording playing over the PA system like a laugh track.

Shane Battier is the 2nd best player on the Heat.

Subway loves to hire 3rd tier athletes to be their spokesmen.

Shut up Phil Jackson.


Shut up Shaq.


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